Pro Hoe- Sexual Liberation for POC
sexual wellness in communities of color


Turned Out

I didn’t know one could achieve multiple orgasms, I’m talking ten in a row, that grow increasingly stronger until… I had sex with a man that I quickly became infatuated with because apparently he had a unicorn penis that unlocked my previously untouched g-spot, debilitated all logical thinking and emotionally convinced me that God had placed this exact human on earth especially for me. What kinetic energy had set the precedent for this kind of experience and could it be replicated? While our sexual interaction was casual (I wanted a relationship and he didn’t), I can say with confidence that our chemistry ushered in an unapologetic exploration of each other’s bodies, causing me to lose sleep, check my phone incessantly and disrupt his personal space all out of fear of returning to some dystopian, "one orgasm is all you get", world. Despite him being emotionally unavailable (say it one more time for the single ladies), the sex was too damn good to part with.

Which leads me to the questions, Is this level of euphoria achievable without incident?, Without sacrifice of emotional independence?, Or does the “love hormone”, oxytocin, propel social bonding exponentially with some partners more than others? One guest on my talk show speaks about stalking a man at his job, creating a fake Instagram account to slander his credibility after he ghosted her post sex. Another man I interviewed ended up in the hospital after a woman he was infatuated with suggested an intricate sex position (Have ya’ll heard of the Gabriel position? lol)

As a sexually positive woman in her late 20’s, I’m more aware of my own physical capabilities in achieving orgasm partly thanks to previous turned out experiences. Each one, teach one. One partner told me post orgasm that I was “intense” (da fuq?) When I asked him what he meant he said it was the ultimate compliment; I was intensely f%*#%ng him with conviction, haha. Not sure why else I would be there naked engaging in this thing called sex if only to half ass it. (Motto for 2018?) Sheesh, so many labels for women who EQUALLY enjoy getting off. I have a mild fear that when I eventually meet someone that both turns me out and is emotionally and mentally stimulating, I’m going to go bat shit crazy. Hell, I already spiral down an emotional rollercoaster for just mediocre sex. 

In one regard, we should be grateful for the exposure to undiscovered indulgence and the exchange of knowledge between two people. God knows I have some friends who don’t orgasm during sex and walk away without communicating their displeasure. Let’s commit to speaking and manifesting our wildest sexual desires before, during and after sex. Pay it forward, people.

Perhaps these “turned out” experiences occur for no other reason than to test and measure our capacity to fall freely, love hard and feel alive...

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